Uncyclopedia - Supernatural

[necro_omen13]

*giggle*
Okay, I just had to share this with someone and, as my 'friend' is n ot available, I'm gonna force you guys to read it!!!
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!....unless you don't click and read the entry....damn.


Found this on Uncyclopedia under 'Supernatural'. I'm only posting some bits and I'm bolding the bits I found AWESOME.

Characters

Sam 'Devil's Cabana Boy' Winchester

Sam is generally agreed to be a very hot guy. He is taller than Dean. Sam is developing psychic powers including foresight and telekinesis, thus turning him into a Mary Sue. He spends most of his time moping around about the deaths he has caused. When not doing that, he finds a way to connect deaths he has not caused back to him, thus giving him something to mope about. His biggest reason for depression concerning deaths he may have caused/related to him is that brother Dean snagged the guilt trip for the big one; Daddy John's kicking of the bucket. Evidence shows he was probably a very angsty teen. Some believe him to be the anti-christ, others a giraffe. But whether he is the anti-christ or a giraffe, heck i don't even care if he was a hippopotemus...HE IS FRICKEN HOT!!!!!!!

Dean 'You Think You're Funny, I Think I'm Adorable' Winchester

Dean is also generally agreed to be a very, very hot guy. He is in love with a '67 Chevy Impala named the Metallicar (though not so much like of his brother Sammy, something that he will never admit). Thousands of boys and girls find him irresistibly attractive because he is outgoing, has pornographic lips, often quotes pop culture, never takes things seriously, and plays pranks on people while they are sleeping. Although he's a blue-collar hard man with very little money and with a disgusting job, he always manages to have a perfect manicure and perfectly gelled/twisted hair wherever he goes. Dean is often impersonated by friendly, murdering creatures of the night in a worryingly accurate manner. Dean really, really likes guns and shooting things as he is a weapon of mass destruction and is therefore a prime example of the kind of person to avoid whilst they are having an acid trip and are armed. He will destroy you if you hurt his Sammy, unless of course you are Bela, in which case he will tell Sammy to stop whining. If Sammy is destroyed, as he was. Dean will offer himself as sacrifice, then spend a year crying till he goes to hell. However he is so friggin hot that an angel totally goes gay for him and drags his ass outta there. The angel brands him, so that everyone else knows who had him first, well after the whole hell thing anyway.

John Winchester

Sam and Dean's borderline abusive father. You just know that when he was courting their mother, she was always complaining that he never called. Is never really there, probably Supernatural's answer to Sarah Connor. Taught his son to shoot at the age of six and therefore provides an acceptable excuse for Dean's behaviour with Junior in 'The Kids Are Alright'. John Winchester is in fact a D.I.L.F.

Bela Talbot

Physical manifestation of every tough-girl cliche ever created. Fortunately was killed, as the collective hate of 5 million fans actually managed to manifest itself in the fictional TV world as a demon which ripped her apart. Would provide a more detailed explanation, but her name carries a curse that causes mutation of fans into rabid, bloodthirsty monsters.

Castiel

Not much is known about this Angel, except that he has a really tight grip and is allergic to questions. Oh and he likes Dean, but he can't shag him cos he is wearing a holly tax accountant. Oh, and his shadow has wings, but he somehow doesn't. This kind of logic is normal among Angels, I guess...

Uriel
Another angel. Not much to say, really, apart from the fact that people who like him want him to die...

Episodes

All Hell Breaks Loose, Part One
Dean and Bobby discover the Children of the Corn. If they were children. With corn. Well okay, not corn, just mind blowing powers that cause the polar icecaps to melt and render useless all the stainless steel spoons in every 4-star restaurant within a two hundred mile radius. BEFORE THEY DIE. Sam finds out what sharp, pointy things are used for.

All Hell Breaks Loose, Part Two
Dean follows Papa Winchester's footsteps in continuing the wonderful tradition of whoring his soul and himself out by going back to making out with that plastic surgery worshipping crossroads demon. Also, hell kicks Papa Winchester out because he hasn't been paying his rent. Oh yeah, and Sam came back from the dead blah blah blah...

Red Sky At Morning
Two effeminate and bumbling men, a big ship, strong implications of angry sex, and a woman that raises the bar for being annoying. Now why does that remind me of Pirates of the Caribbean? Bela once again demonstrates her Jedi powers and steals a severed human hand. Dean and Sam are understandably perplexed by this severed limb fetish.

A Very Supernatural Christmas
Pagan gods play evil Santa Claus, give Sam a terrible manicure, then decide they want to be Dean's dentist, and let us make a trip to the Department of Wibbly Backstory. Dean likens fudge to fruitcake. No Bela OR Ruby!!! It really is Christmas!

Lazarus Rising
Dean returns from Hell, courtesy of a sexy Angel who's all like "I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition". Dean is freaked out, and consoles himself by reading his Busty Asian Beauties magazine, which is an appropriate and acceptable first activity for someone who has just been rescued from Hell by an angel of the Lord. It is revealed to the audience that Sam has not only turned into an emo but is killing demons with his mind and sleeping with Ruby who has taken on the body of a really bad actress



That is all. I won't torment you any longer.
:D

Comments

[veritas-st.livejournal.com]

*falls off chair laughing*

OMG that is hilarious!!!

xx

[necro-omen13.livejournal.com]

Glad it wasn't just me it amused.
XD

[veritas-st.livejournal.com]

Nope...this is genius!

"Ruby who has taken on the body of a really bad actress " *falls off chair laughing again*

xx

[necro-omen13.livejournal.com]

That line is just EPIC.

John Winchester is in fact a D.I.L.F.

:D
So true.

[soledadseraph.livejournal.com]

His biggest reason for depression concerning deaths he may have caused/related to him is that brother Dean snagged the guilt trip for the big one; Daddy John's kicking of the bucket.

Oh God =) Just LOL!

[necro-omen13.livejournal.com]

I was pissing myself laughing when I was reading it online. I never realised how much Sam actually feels guilty for shit he wasn't even remotely involved in.

:D
Ha. Dean beat him in emoness.